Presentation on Gender Based Violence : Themes in Violence

Presentation on Gender Based Violence

Inter-Faith Service & Round-Table Discussion

International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women

In my work I have discovered four themes that seemed very important, these included:

-       Physical Effects,

-       Emotional Effects,

-       Behavioural Effects and

-       Psychological Effects

Let me talk about the theme of Physical Effect, which i found to be one of the most common factors that were faced by most of the survivals of violence.

Women will tell you things like:

-       “He would hit me physical, punches, kick even slaps, once my mouth started bleeding”

-       “He was beating me with his fist and belt, all over my body especially my face”

-       “I remember felling the blood dripping from my lips.”

-       It was interesting to note that many of the interviewees were still having problems dealing with the memories they had from the abuse.

-       “He would beat me for any least thing, if the food has too much salt or too little is a good licking, if the baby ah cry too much and I don't go look she right away, is another licking".

AS it relates to the Emotional Effects theme, Depression is always the talk.

Depression played a very intriguing part in the lives’ of survivals of violence since they were all faced with this attribute after the abuse.

So when you talk with survivals of violence, they will tell you things like:

-       “I was depressed for months I felt shallow inside”,

-       “at this point I felt as if I was alone I guess I had no one to talk to even if I had, I just didn't trust them”,

-       “I cried so much that I didn't had no more tears to cry”

Many of the interviewees noted that they did not know how to cope with the depression since one person said to

 “me nah had no one fuh talk to…. meh use to sit alone and ask god why meh does feel so terrible, meh nah de know what fuh do.”

After Depression it lead to Suicidal thoughts, which was the run off effect of depression. This run off effect seemed to plague most of the younger Participants.

I spoke to a young lady who was 21 years of age and she said

“Nuff nuff time I de feel foh tek meh life, but ah dem pickney me a think bout, meh love dem bad but meh nah know how long meh cudda live like this."

I have also found that quite a few of these younger women had scars that were left from attempts of suicide; some on their hands, thighs. One woman said to me “I had suicidal thoughts the first few years of my marriage. I use to cut my waist and watch the blood as it pour out. It use to take my mind off the abuse when I hurt myself. I even drank engine oil once and ended up in the hospital. Sadly, the doctors did all they can and I was revived to my full capacity. But I was charged for attempted to kill myself.”

Many of these women are filled with anger even those who were out from the abusive environment. Many times I felt the tone the pain of being abused, one woman, “I was very angry who wouldn’t be angry! I hated that I didn’t feel comfortable to tell anyone about what happen. All the hurt was inside me and could burst hmmm… I became hateful.”

One woman gives me the perception that the anger caused a break down in her family bonds since she stated “I don’t know why but I noticed my children irritated me easily since they reminded me of their father and it would cause me to quarrel on them for any lease thing, sometimes I wouldn’t speak to them for days”

Fear was present in most if not all of the women; one woman used money as a means to decrease the abuse. She said, “ meh nah de know wah foh do but me notice when me get pay he does want nice things foh eat so me does give he money to buy them when he getting angry meh and he does ease up little bit.”

The Behavioural Effects theme led me to the concept of “Poor Oral Communication.”

One women said “I was unable to speak to my children and even the neighbors for days. It was because I was scared of receiving another licking.”

Another women told “Meh still talk to my friends but sometimes me wan know wah dem think bout cause dem know he ah beat me."

Another was said “I usually isolate myself to hide the bruises especially the ones that were visible on my face."

The other theme that I discovered was the Psychological Effects theme. With this theme I found the concept “Denial”. I noticed a common trend amongst most of the women; all had some point of denial during the abuse.

One woman said “I always thought that he would stop, that he would acknowledge what he was doing and that he would show me some mercy and rather talk to me than to hit me but it never came to reality. Some days I prayed to god that he wont do this again.”

Some even prayed that the abuse would stop since one lady said “I prayed to god that he won’t do this again but he try to but I fight him with all my might and I tell him if try it again I would tell everyone.”

Another concept that I found was “Poor Ability to Concentrate”. 

One woman said “Sometimes me spend days thinking how would I leave him, I didn’t know what to do, I was so unstable and my head was all over the place.”

There is need for:

«       A rigorous campaign against the cycle of domestic violence that traps women in abusive relationships;

«       Cultural beliefs about gender and sex roles should also be address (Negative masculinity);

«       Special Victims units in every region of Guyana